Thursday, September 8, 2016

Copy the memories

I mean to come here more. Write down more memories. Document my feelings so I can remember them tomorrow.

My son is 7 now... and I'm not quite sure how that happened. I mean... 7? really?
He's smart, he's handsome, he's clever and witty and he's absolutely amazing in every way. My life, my thoughts, my motivation all center him. Every day I try to mold him, help him make good decisions and teach him good ethics.

Not long ago he said to me "Dad... you want to know how I know Grandpa isn't gone?"
I replied with "how?" ... "Because he's always in my thoughts and memory, if I don't forget him then he's not gone"
I said to him "that's so awesome, Rivers, who taught you that?"
he said "You did, dad." :)

Being a Dad is not always easy, it doesn't always make sense, but trying my best to be the best at it is the most rewarding thing I've experienced.

I try to soak in every memory I can, appreciate the little things and never take my time with him for granted.

Two nights ago laying in bed we were arm wrestling, he was using all his weight and might to move my arm but couldn't at all. He said "I stand no chance!" as he was laughing and trying different angles to gain an advantage. I told him "Soon enough...", and its these moments I never want to forget and I hope he never forgets either. Stamps of memories, small but meaningful. It's these moments he looks up to me and I feel how important I am to him, I never want to lose that and I never want to abuse that. Because someday he will realize how much I look up to him and how important he is to me.


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Cheese & Life... but it helps.

"There was a study done, a hospital study
On 100 elderly people, facing death, close to their last breath
They were asked to reflect about their life biggest regret
Nearly all of them said they didn’t regret on the things they did
But the things… they didn’t do...
The risks they never took
The dreams they didn’t peruse
I ask you, would your last words be
“if only I had… “

 Hey you! Wake up
Why do you exist?
Life is not meant to simply work
Wait for the weekend, and pay rent.
No.. no…
I don’t know much, but i know this
Every person on this earth has a gift.
See, people don’t choose dreams, dreams choose them
So the question I’m getting too
Is Do you have the courage to grab the dream that picks you
That befits you, that grips you
Or will you let it get way and slip through
I learned a fact about airplanes the other day
This was so surprising you see
I was talking to a pilot
Many of his passengers believe airplanes are dangerous to fly in
But he said, actually, it is a lot more dangerous for a plane
To stay on the ground
He said because on the ground, the plane starts to rust, malfunction and wear
Much faster as if it ever would if it was in the air
Because planes are built to live in the skies
And every person was built to live out the dream
They have inside
So it is perhaps the saddest lose
Living a life on the ground
Without ever taking off
Most of us are afraid of the thief
That comes in the night
To steal all of our things
But there is a thief in your mind
That is after your dreams
His name is doubt
If you see him, call the cops
Keep him away from the kids
He is wanted for murder
For killing more dreams
Than failure ever did
He wears many disguises
And like a virus will leave you
Blinded, divided, and turn you into a … “Kinda”
See “Kinda” is lethal, there is a lot of “kinda” people
You kinda want a career change
You kinda want to get straight A's
You kinda want to get in shape
Simple math, no numbers to crush
If you kinda want something
You will kinda get the results you want
What is your dream?
What ignites that spark?
You can’t kinda want that
You got to want it with every part
Of your whole heart
Will you struggle?
Yeah, yeah you will struggle, no way around it
You will fall many times, but who’s’ counting?
Just remember
There’s no such thing as a smooth mountain
If you want to make it to the top
Then there is sharp ridges you need to step over
There will be times you will be stressed
And things you get depressed over
Pain is life.
But you can choose which type.
Either the pain on the road to success
Or the pain of being haunted with regret
You want my advice?
Don’t think twice
We have a gift called life…
So don’t blow it
You are not defined by your past
So own it, now.
Sometimes you got to leap
And grow your wings on the way down
You better get the shot off
Before the clock runs out
There is no over time in life
No do over
It sounds like I’m preaching, speaking with force
But if you don’t use your gift
You sell, not only your self
But the whole world short
What invention do you have in your mind
What idea, what cure, what skill
Do you have inside to bring out
To  this Uni-verse
Uni meaning one
Verse meaning song
You have a part to play in this song
So grab that microphone and be brave
Sing your life out on that stage
You cannot go back
And make a brand new beginning
But you can start now
And make a brand new ending."

Tuesday, February 16, 2016


The biggest reason for writing here lately is just to look back, re-read my feelings and thoughts, and remember I'm learning and growing. I feel good today, i felt powerful and confident, and I felt nothing should stop me.

It's an odd time in my life, some days are crazy high and wonderful while others are like rock bottom. I don't like the roller coaster, I don't like my reactions when I'm rock bottom, but at least on those down days I know they won't last and I know the next day the feeling will most likely be gone. The bad part is it keeps coming back, but I feel I'm getting a really good handle on it and am excited for the future.

I want to remember this, I want to remember when times are bad that they will get better and that's what helps me sleep at night.

Nathan vs. the Lion Tamer. Right? ... Right!

Monday, February 15, 2016

Reach past

I think those moments when I realize I just need to relax, take few steps back, and enjoy life a little slower are the ones I need more of. Stop being such a sappy fool and just have fun with things, who knows where anything will end up, you can never force it, so just sit down and enjoy the ride.