Such a mix of feeling lately. I am only writing here so maybe I can look back on this again and remind my self.
Its good to be reminded where paths you were forced to take in the past lead you to today. Maybe. Maybe its good to know you made the best of it. If that's possible, right? A decision to make the best of the time given to you. What part of that is really a decision?
How many times can I reach out, step out, do my best and only get returned this. this. this. what is this. The fact that the most important thing to me in my whole life is the only thing that keeps me strong and keeps me, me. Is also the thing that destroys me the most, there will be days he's not with me and those days I don't know what i'm going to do. I have no idea how i'm going to get through each day that way waiting until the next day he comes back to me. Sigh.
Hopefully if a day comes you read this by your self, alone at night, or during school or work, when ever you find it. Never forget, never there will be day I'm not here for you. There is a reason I tell you that you are my best buddy every night.
This scrambled writing maybe will help me someday.
Kisses my lion, kisses me loves.