Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Night Windows.

Well its night time now, the suns down, the breeze is gone, the leaves are holding still, holding tight on their dieing branches.

Earlier today, i stood outside, outside of the three story building i work in, admiring the view, the charred mountain side from the fire earlier this summer, the orange and yellow patches of leaves which some how escaped that wild fire, as if they stood up and ran. The parking lot full of cars which scream individual stories, wash me, fix me, admire me, drive me up that charred mountain side and place those beautiful colors in my passenger seat. Birds singing ballads i swear they spent months composing. Oh yes, and the sun, i will never forget just how bright it was....

Now when i arrived at work all of this seemed normal, a normal day, regular cars pulling up to work, the sun is always out on these fall days, covered by clouds or not, the same birds hanging in the dull field beside the parking lot...

and when i returned to work from the doctor, who assured us the worst is one step closer to a very real reality the day changed fast...
the cool breeze on my forehead was beautifully cold,
the leaves turned vivid and swayed on the branches just a little slower,
the crunch of rubber to gravel rang in my ears,
the sun had a glare in my eye like i have never seen real sun light,
the mountain directly in front of me but just out of reach - seemed as a helpless infant who had no choice against those hellish flames...

because today, life, its night windows and its giant hands just made life a bit more real...

We love you all, and thanks for your kind words you planted in my ear today, they have truly, already grown into flowers.


Monday, October 27, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Where the scary scare crow stands.

This is one of those entires where you sit down
put your fingers upon a, s, d and f but nothing comes out.
I'm sure you all have done it in one way or another.
Be it in a personal journal at night, or a personal blog,
either way it feels you are writing to your self,
wishing you were some glorious writer who could crumble walls.

I have this horrible case of a speeding roller coaster
and my writers block has front seat.
It usually happens when i start to dwell on a subject
and, ladies and gentlemen, this weeks been 'remembrance.'
I think you all know him, i know him quit well....
the other day i wrote a letter to his father, time.

I was about to sit and write about my day in Wendover.
Dont get me wrong, it was a lovely time...
i'm not even going to tell you how much money i lost.
because thats boring for me to write about....

i'm dwelling on one thing, remembering how much i love remembering things.
how important it is to remember today, even wendover, even losing my money.

I want to open a window and see my old buddy Bryan,
I want to go back and fish the waters of seaque with him
wrangle up dead sand sharks just to haul them half way across town
to show our pops. Then sit on the end of the dock with 3 scoops of rocky road each!
Watching puffins, founder and mackerel dart back and forth underneath our feet.
Taking the short cut in my back yard to his house, so good ol' Mikey can
give us the best advice any man could to what ever mischief we were getting into.

Then turn to another wall in my box to see Jon...
We'd hop on our bikes and peddle as fast as we could to the tree of life.
Sit on the branches and swear the aura of that tree alone gave us the cure for cancer.
Then we'd play hide and seek with golden roamer, his tail would wag so fast it'd thump against his ribs!
Then we'd camp out in Jon's front yard, sneak away, and be tracked down by his paranoid father to remind us we need to wake up in the morning to play each others rival soccer teams.
later we planned out unstoppable Frisbee plays knowing we were quit possibly the best ever, just to be proven wrong by some crazy Canadians! Oh ya Bryan was there!
Oh Those endless Saturday nights flicking and chasing that dream, i mean that Frisbee, down a fresh cut lawn, it smelt glorious.

Then I'd turn and open up the next window to see Craig...
We'd stay up to 5am in the morning just to show up at the local market to buy freshly baked dough nuts, set them out in the basement and eat them, dripping the jelly on our belly's to make smiley faces and waking up my sister to quit possibly the weirdest look ever.
That didn't stop us laughing, nor did it stop her joining in on our laugh.
Those many nights spent under a strobe light with 'wonder wall' blasting its beauty into our lives as we watched the world revolve around us. Making our way to club 33, we ate possibly the best food ever while the Pirates of the Caribbean sang their Yo Ho's to the average Disney Land attendee.

Then i could open all 3 windows, and see all 4 of us, there was probably a tent pitched in the background, we are all laying down, facing the stars, head next to head next to head next to head in the shape of a red cross. We can all testify to the UFO we saw that night.

Its these kind of things I'm dwelling on now, and realizing I'm right in the middle of another memory where tomorrow I'll think back on and cry in happiness.
The fact that i have the ability to reenact these cherished moments just by thinking about them, i couldn't ask for anything more, because i already have the best thing in the entire world and she's waiting for me to come to bed.

I sincerely miss and love all of you who's left a grain of rice in my head like the one's I've mentioned above, because i couldn't remember anything with out any of you.


Thursday, October 9, 2008

Dear Time,

Dear Time,

Remember that time i wrote you a rhyme?
I told you a promise i'd never let go...
remember? dear time, it wasn't quit 4 years ago
oh yes, thats right, i told you to forget...
every color i saw thats yet to be seen
every dent i made in your side
and every memory i made you resight
wrapped up in a ball, imagination set to wide
Oh all those nights i spent wild eyed
my gracious time, it was then i told you to forget
but now please forget all the regret
and remember me.....
remember I've untied every rope to my thigh
all the curls I've swept which fell to my side
every tear thats crashed and dried
please remember what I've done to you
every scar that i dug
every kiss and every hug
every bandage i gave to help you
all the time i spent to perfect you
please remember
i forgave every feeling you cracked
every knuckle that did bleed
the white mornings i turned to black
oh my dear time, please remember me
all the lullaby's i had to sing
all the bed time stories i made ring
please remember every night i didn't sleep
every day i made rain
and every broken heart i still cannot explain
oh Time, Oh my dear time....
I told you a promise i'd never let go...
remember? not quit 4 years ago
please remember me, i owe you my life...
this time, i beg you, when you move on
don't leave me behind.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

Bloody Sunday.

Originally uploaded by Nathan See's It!!

Originally uploaded by Nathan See's It!!

Today was a stroll out on a very beautiful day.
Rained all the previous day and night.
Was great to be out side, here is 2 Flickr Videos of our stroll out.
Also of course, you can see some still pictures to the right of the page, that will update my 10 most recent photo's taken and uploaded to Flickr.

I never explained the point of a Flickr Video... Flickr hosts photography and recently they've expanded to hosting video, but only video no longer thatn 90 sec.
The reason for this is to keep it short, simple, when a moment needs a few more seconds, more than just 1 single still picture can tell.
So i keep that in mind, when a moment feels more than just a picture, when 5-10 sec. can explain more than a single picture can and more than 5-10 min. ever could.

I pick and choose what pictures i put on my flickr, and now i can pick and choose what short and tender moments to share.

I hope you enjoy them as much as i do.

Friday, October 3, 2008

F and B

Originally uploaded by Nathan See's It!!
Frankie and Bruce can make anyone smile. :)

these are the 2 newest additions to my family, they are 2 weeks out of pouch and already curious as ever! :)

Quite possibly the most adorable things ever.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Originally uploaded by Dunstan Orchard
I had to share this video, its quite brilliant. Its one of those
videos i watch and think 'damn, i wish i did that', and i'm not afraid to admit it. I have some videos on my and youtube, which this inspired me to post my videos on my Flickr account, which i will then post here. I will attack that later.

Its the simple things in life that make it worth it, like this video, a dog so enthralled by a small piece of ice, the sounds of him stomping upon the cement floor, the concentration in his eyes when the ice slipped from his mouth and made a run for its life.

and also this ....

The young one may have webbed hands like the father, or 3 thumbs like the mother, but either way.... look, just spend 5 seconds looking, just look how simple, how beautiful it is, and yes... its mine.

I have not spread this word, or news to many, for reasons i'll leave to my self. With recent news or lack of news i have decided to open up with this. Our first doctors appointment was exciting, nerve wrecking like your first haunted house yet full of happiness, i left overwhelmed with joy and a sense of 'right', yet i also left with a ominous mark in the back of my mind. The doctor found some abnormalities within the mom and was holding back her concern for our sake, which i thank her for. A few days after the visit the mom was experiencing more abnormal activities, we rushed in for an emergency visit -- and were revealed to see a strong heart beat sending rhythm of relief to our eyes like a beautiful song.

Come a few weeks later we hear back from the tests and blood work, and to my eyes, maybe i read into this to much, more hidden concern from the doctor.

We were told mom has abnormal cells, we will be going in for more tests hopefully to prove these cells are not cancerous.
I'm leaving this part as vague as i can, i do not wish to dwell on that word i just typed.

So this begins the story of my O-So-Small beautiful beautiful monster and my O-So gorgeous carrier, and me, a want to be coach, sitting on the side lines utterly helpless.

The sky never seemed so grey.

Best to all.